


36 Questions

by Weatherbug02



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Awkward Uncle Luke, Based on the 36 Questions That Lead To Love experiment, F/M, First Kiss, Implied Smut, Post-The Force Awakens, Somewhat Redeemed Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 00:41:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12783147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weatherbug02/pseuds/Weatherbug02
Summary: After a fight between Kylo and Rey on Ahch- To, Luke forces them to do an experiment to bond.[Or, the one in which Kylo and Rey (unknowingly) answer 36 questions to fall in love]





	36 Questions

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off an experiment I've read a lot about. You can read more about it and see the questions here: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

Rey liked to think she was a forgiving person. It was hard, but grudges were unnecessary and time-consuming. She would very much rather move on with her life instead of letting something fester in her heart.

 

But Rey’s lack of grudge would always leave something much larger: A sense of caution.

 

Kylo hadn’t spoken more than five words to her for nearly a week. She first brushed it off as moodiness, but his sharp replies to simple questions such as “What are you doing?” or “Will you grab that for me?” was starting to make Rey not only angry but a bit sad as well.

 

He had come to the island only three weeks ago, expected by neither Rey nor Luke. It hadn’t been a nice welcome, but he’d insisted he’d defected from The First Order for good, and Luke was somehow inclined to believe him. Rey wasn’t sure about the decision, but she decided not to question her master.

 

It didn’t take long for him and her to go from behaving right back to where they started—chilly and biting.

 

“Would you like some breakfast?” Rey asked Kylo when he passed her. He replied only with an icy glare and kept walking. She looked at Luke, who sat across from her, chewing thoughtfully on some kind of meat. “Did you see that?”

 

He nodded. “He seems to be in another mood.”

 

“It’s not  _ another _ . He hasn’t left the mood for days. What’s wrong with him? It’s incredibly frustrating.”

 

“It doesn’t matter. He’ll warm up. Just give him time,” Luke said. “Can you ask him to meet us for training?”

 

Rey rose an eyebrow. “You’re going to let him train with me? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

 

“I think it’s time. Now go.”

 

Rey tried not to sigh when she stood and began walking toward Kylo’s hut. Mud squished under her shoes as she went and sweat dripped down her back from the humidity. Even after a month on the Ahch-To, Rey didn’t think she’d ever be over how different it was from Jakku. For once she was finally happy, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to let Kylo Ren ruin that.

 

“Hey,” she mumbled after knocking on the door to his hut, knowing the walls were thin enough for him to hear. He didn’t answer. “Master Luke wanted me to get you. We’re training, and he wants you to come.”

 

“Tell him I don’t want to.” His voice is barely audible from the hut, but it’s definitely there.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I fucking said to.”

 

Rey curled her hands into fists and climbed up the steps into Kylo’s hut, slamming open the door. He was lying in the corner on a ratty mattress. “What did you just say to me?”

 

He didn’t look at her. “I said ‘Because I fucking said to.’”

 

She crossed her arms. “Yeah, okay. But why? What have I done to you to make it so intolerable to be here?”

 

He laughed once, mocking. “Are you serious? What have you done? You…” He glanced at her and scowled. “You know what? Never mind.”

 

Rey stomped over to where he was lying and looked down at him. “Are you kidding me? You’re just not going to tell me? What, am I that awful to be around? Well, I didn’t ask for you to be here, Kylo. Me or Luke. You came here on your own volition, and it’s not my fault you’re a miserable asshole, alright?”

 

Kylo jumped to his feet and faced Rey, hands tight at his sides. “Tell me whatever you want, Rey. I’ve heard it all before. You think I don’t know no one wants me here? The thing is, I don’t care. I don’t care whether you or my uncle hate me because it doesn’t matter. I have nothing anyway. Keep talking all you want, but nothing is going to change.”

 

“Are you serious? I said I didn’t ask for you to be here. I never said I didn’t want you to be. I’m happy you’re not some Darksider trying to kill me. I’m happy you’re finally seeing things the right way, but that doesn’t give you the right to be a complete ass to me!”

 

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Do what you want, Rey, just leave me out of it.” He moved to exit the hut but stopped in his tracks when Luke stood in front if it, a book in his hand.

 

“Kylo,” he said.

 

“Uncle.”

 

Luke pushed past Kylo and walked into the hut, glancing between him and Rey. “I heard both of you arguing from my hut. You both seem very passionate.” Neither Rey nor Kylo spoke. “I’m not pleased with your relationship. If you’re going to be working together, then you must mend this… tension between you.” He handed the book in his hands to Kylo. “Page 137. Read the instructions and follow them exactly. Don’t leave this hut until you’re done or you’ll both be mending my robes. Understand?”

 

Rey nodded. “Yes, Master Luke.”

 

Kylo looked like he was ready to rip down a wall. “Yes,” he said through gritted teeth.

 

Luke nodded at both of them and walked out of the hut, his robes rippling behind him. Rey looked at Kylo, who returned her gaze with a sneer. She followed as he sat down on the ground. “Page 137,” he mumbled flipping through the book. Rey was surprised he relented so easily, but he probably knew it was best not to try Luke’s patience when he was being so gracious toward him. “It says we need to answer 36 questions and then stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes.”

 

“Why?”

 

Kylo only glanced at her. “It’s supposed to be for bonding.”

 

“Well, I guess it’ll be easy enough,” she said. “Even if I’ll want to strangle you the entire time.”

 

Kylo ignored her and sat down the book in a place they both could see. “You can go first.” He looked down at the book and read the first question. “‘Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?’”

 

Rey answered without hesitation. “My parents. Or one of them, at least.”

 

He stared at her for a moment before turning his attention back to the book. “Uh, I guess I’d choose my mother as well. Not many other people I can choose from. Anyway, next question is ‘Would you like to be famous? In what way?’”

 

She thought for a moment. Fame had never been exactly on her radar, and it definitely still wasn’t. “I don’t know. Helping people in some way would be nice.”

 

“You could choose anything, and you chose ‘Helping people’?”

 

Rey shrugged. “When I’m a Jedi I’ll have to. And even if I weren’t a jedi, I’d still want to. How about you?”

 

“I guess bringing balance,” he said. “Which is stupid because it’s never going to happen, but…”

 

“What’s question three?”

 

He look down at the book. “‘Before talking to someone, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?’”

 

“No, I don’t. If it’s important then I have mental notes, but if it’s very casual I say what comes to mind.”

 

Kylo nodded. “I rehearse most conversations with people.”

 

“Even me?”

 

He glanced at her once before shaking his head. “No, you’re not important enough for that.”

 

“I think you’re lying, but I’ll accept that answer.”

 

Rey swore she saw a hint of a smile on his face. “‘What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?’” he asked.

 

“Don’t even get me started,” she said. “I’d have nothing scheduled the entire day and get up when it’s dark so I could see the sunrise. I’d also be able to have any and as much food as I want. I don’t know, just spending time with people I love would be great. You?”

 

“Uh… I’d want to sleep in for as long as possible and go out somewhere at night and play games and drink and stuff. I don’t really think about it a lot.” He looked at the book. “‘When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?’”

 

“Yesterday I sang to myself, and… it’s been a while to someone else.”

 

“I don’t really sing to myself,” Kylo said. He looked awkward and big sitting cross-legged on the floor, but it was endearing in a way. “And I haven’t sung to anyone since I was a kid.” Rey opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off with another question. “‘If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?’”

 

“I’d go for mind. Aging is a part of life, and I think it’s beautiful.”

 

“Me too. Question seven is ‘Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?’”

 

Rey laughed. “I’ve actually thought about this quite a lot. When I was on Jakku, I was sure I was going to die after an accident on one of the junk ships or be attacked by other scavengers. Now it’s probably going to be me accidentally impaling myself with a lightsaber.”

 

Kylo shook his head, but she could see the small smile on his face. “I… I’ve always thought the way I’d die would be harsh and brutal. I don’t know why. Probably because it’s what I deserve.”

 

She sat a hand on his arm. He flinched slightly. “You don’t deserve that.”

 

He nodded but didn’t disagree with her. “‘Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.’”

 

“As in, us?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh, okay. Uh…” She stared at him, uncomfortably aware at how he stared back. “We’re both tall—”

 

“You aren’t tall.”

 

“Yes, I am, and I did not ask for your opinion. We also have dark hair and are Force-sensitive.”

 

“Real creative,” Kylo said. “We’re both wearing shoes, hate those Porgs, and neither of us wants to be here.”

 

“I do not hate the Porgs.”

 

“I saw you cuss one out earlier this week.” 

 

“That damned thing took my muffin. It deserved it.”

 

“Okay, okay. Question nine: ‘For what in your life do you feel most grateful?’”

 

“Everyone here,” she answered without hesitation. “Everyone helping me.”

 

“Does that include me?”

 

“Are you helping me?”

 

“I try to,” he said.

 

“Then yes.” Rey stares at him for a moment before shaking her head. “How about you?”

 

Kylo shrugged. “I guess people as well. The ones who have forgiven me or mostly forgiven me, you know?” He turned back to the book and visibly swallowed. “Uh, ‘If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?’”

 

She could feel her face burning, but it wasn’t in shame. Kylo knew about her parents, how they were gone. The answer to the question was obvious. “I’d want them back.”

 

“I know,” he said. “I’d want mine around more. I think… that’s when things started going wrong. When they left me for something ‘more important.’ It just stung, I guess, and I made up for it in ways I could as a child.” He was silent for a moment before shaking his head. “It sounds stupid, never mind.”

 

“No, it doesn’t. Don’t think that. Nothing you say is stupid, Kylo.”

 

“I doubt that, but thank you. ‘Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.’”

 

Rey flushed. “I-I don’t know.”

 

“It’s okay. We don’t have—”

 

“No! I can do it. Uh…” Memories ran through her mind—the sand, the sweat, all the cuts and bruises and broken bones. Very few were good, and even the good ones probably wouldn’t qualify as one to Kylo. “I was left on Jakku when I was young. I don’t know exactly when, but they’ve said I was 6 or 7. No one knows why they did it or why they chose Jakku, but I guess it doesn’t really matter. I picked up scavenging since there was really nothing else to do, but it wasn’t easy for a little girl. Sometimes people would help me a give me portions, but that stopped when I was about 11, I think. I lived alone, had to deal with things myself. I spent every day scavenging, trying to earn enough to feed myself, but things always seemed to get worse.” Rey paused and looked up at Kylo. “Then I found BB-8 and everything changed. You know the rest. Your turn.”

 

He nodded. “I, uh, was born on Chandrila. They named me Ben because of Obi-Wan Kenobi. I was very attached to my mother, which, I think, hurt my father.” Rey noticed he was fidgeting quite a bit. “My parents weren’t horrible people. They gave me all the material possessions I could’ve ever wanted, but there was something missing. My mom was busy rebuilding the Republic, and my dad was helping her. Sometimes they’d leave for weeks at a time and would leave me with a nanny, but they never lasted for long since they were terrified of me.” He sighed. “My parents too. They were scared of me. My dad didn’t get the Force thing, and it scared my mom how powerful I was, so they sent me to Uncle Luke’s academy. I trained there for years, and it helped me control the Force, but it didn’t really give me…” He trailed off.

 

“Fulfillment?” Rey offered.

 

Kylo nodded. “Yeah, close enough. I didn’t even realize that there was someone in my head, someone who had been there since I was a baby. He fed me darkness, and one day I think I just… snapped. They kept secrets from me, and, I don’t know, I hated them and I hated myself.” He clutched his thighs, digging his fingernails into the fabric of his pants. “You know the rest.”

 

Rey stared at him. She never really realized how alone he was. She always thought being surrounded by people meant one could never be lonely, but it seemed even being some child prodigy watched over by people who were terrified of you left some kind of emptiness.

 

Kylo cleared his throat. “Uh, question 12: ‘If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?’”

 

“I’d want to be able to understand people better,” Rey said. “I always just assume things, but sometimes there’s more to it.”

 

He studied her for a moment then returned his eyes to his lap. “I’d want to be able to make the right decisions all the time. To not be such a mess-up.”

 

Rey sat a hand on his out of instinct. “You’re not a mess-up. You’ve made some bad decisions and are an asshole sometimes, but you’re not a mess-up.”

 

He looked down at her hand, and she removed it quickly. “‘If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?’”

 

The answer was obvious. “My parents. I’d like to know who they are, why they left me on Jakku, who they were running from, if they’re alive.” She stared at him, waiting for his answer.

 

“I’d want to know if things were going to get any better.”

 

“What do you mean?” she asked.

 

“Like… In the future, if I fixed things with people or if The First Order was gone. Stuff like that.” He shook his head. “‘Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?’”

 

“I don’t know. Um… well, there is something, but it’s stupid.”

 

“That doesn’t matter. This whole thing is pointless, anyway, remember?” Rey almost thought he was serious, but there was a small smile on his face.

 

“Well,” she said, her face slightly flushed, “I’ve always wanted to kiss someone.” His eyes widened just a bit. “Not like a kiss on the cheek, but a real kiss. There was never really an opportunity for me to on Jakku, and I came to Ahch-To quickly after I left, so I never did.” She shook her head. “Okay, your turn.”

 

“Uh, I’ve always wanted to take a vacation with someone. A real vacation, not some bullshit tourist trap vacation. One where you can just relax and and be calm and enjoy things. My parents would go on vacations with me when I was young, but they stopped after I got sent to training, and then I never really had time afterward.”

 

“That sounds great. You should do it after… everything.”

 

He nods. “Yeah. I will. ‘What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?’”

 

“Is it bad if I say defeating you?”

 

Kylo did laugh then, very quietly. “No, but why?”

 

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess it made me realize that I truly was something out of the ordinary. It gave me the strength to go on.”

 

His hand made his way up to the scar on his face. “Then I’m glad you did it.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because it gave me strength too.” He trailed his fingers down his scar and settled his hands in his lap. “Leaving. That’s my greatest accomplishment.” Rey didn’t need to ask what he meant. “‘What do you value most in a friendship?’”

 

“Trust,” she said. “Trust and honesty is extremely important to me.”

 

“I agree,” he said. “‘What is your most treasured memory?’”

 

“Meeting BB-8 because that’s where my life really started. You?”

 

A smile crossed Kylo’s lips, just for a moment. “Family dinners when I was a kid. It didn’t happen a lot, but on good nights we’d all talk to each other and share news. I don’t know, it was just… happy.” He cleared his throat. “‘What is your most terrible memory?’”

 

“Jakku,” Rey said.

 

“Really? It wasn’t anything else?”

 

She rose an eyebrow. “What, did you want me to say the mind-probing?”

 

“No, but it seemed like a reasonable guess.”

 

“It was just a few minutes versus a decade of constant misery. I don’t think it will ever measure up.”

 

Kylo nodded. “Mine would be… my time with Snoke.” Rey didn’t ask for a further explanation. She’d seen his scars enough to know. “‘If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?’”

 

Rey stared at him. “I don’t know. I’d probably just keep doing what I was doing but do some things on the side too.”

 

“First kiss?”

 

She smiled. “Yes, first kiss.”

 

“I’d probably take some time off at first, but knowing me I’d get bored and come back.”

 

“Of course you would.”

 

“‘What does friendship mean to you?’”

 

“It means… being there for someone through the good and the bad, no matter what,” she said.

 

He nodded. “For me, it means trusting someone completely and embracing their flaws and staying with them unequivocally.”

 

Rey smiled. “I think what you’re describing is love.”

 

Kylo shrugged, tapping his fingers on the floor. “It’s practically the same thing, anyway.”

 

“Yeah, I’d agree. There’s a very fine line between the two.”

 

“‘What roles do love and affection play in your life?’” he asked. Rey could sense the change of subject.

 

“Not a lot,” she said quietly. “I’d like there to be more. Not much time for it, honestly.”

 

“Me too. As a Padawan, I wasn’t really allowed those kinds of bonds, but I’ve always been an emotional person. I couldn’t cut ties with love completely. It seemed unnecessary and extreme. I think cutting emotional ties is the last thing that will benefit me.”

 

Rey nodded. “I agree. I’ve spent my entire life without love. I want it. In some way, at least.”

 

“Good. ‘Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five.’”

 

“Does that mean five each?”

 

“I’d assume so, yes.” He met her eyes. “I’ll go first. You’re very nice.”

 

“You walk slowly.”

 

Kylo rose an eyebrow but didn’t comment on it. “You’re good at using the Force.”

 

“You’re smart.”

 

“You listen to me.”

 

“You don’t laugh when I don’t understand something.”

 

“You’re resourceful.”

 

“You’re genuine.”

 

“You call me out on my bullshit.”

 

“You’re attractive.”

 

Kylo choked on the last one. “Wait, really?”

 

Rey could feel her cheeks heating. “Yeah.”

 

She swore Kylo had a blush on his face. “Okay, um, next question. ‘How close and warm is your…” He trailed off and looked back up at her. “Let’s skip this one.” He looked down at the book again. “And the next one. Um, how about we go to number 25? ‘Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, ‘We are both in this room feeling …’”

 

Rey nodded. “Okay, uh, we are both confused as to why we are doing this.”

 

“We are both mildly annoyed at Luke Skywalker.”

 

“We are both extremely nervous.”

 

“We are both curious about each other.”

 

“We are both tired.”

 

“We are both more similar than either of us realized.”

 

Rey cleared her throat and looked away from him. “Uh, what’s next?”

 

Kylo looked down at the book. “‘Complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone with whom I could share…’”

 

“A kiss,” she said, her voice just above a whisper.

 

“My life,” he said, matching her volume. “‘If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.’”

 

Rey took a deep breath. “Um, I’m a very clingy person, and I need constant validation.”

 

“I hide behind sarcasm because it makes me feel better about myself.” His eyes flickered back up to her. “‘Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.’”

 

“I think you’re a beautiful person,” she said. “Not just physically, either. I don’t know. I think you’re too hard on yourself sometimes. You’ve done a lot of things right. I admire how humble and honest you are with yourself, even if a bit brutal.”

 

Kylo’s lip quivered just a bit. “I-I like how you look for the good in everything, but you’re not afraid. You’re genuine and kind and… I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

 

She sat her hand on his but didn’t pull away that time. “Yes, you do.”

 

“‘Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life,’” he said, his voice small.

 

Rey removed her hand and immediately missed his warmth. “When I was around 18 on Jakku, I started my period for the first time, and I didn’t know what it was because no one ever told me, so I thought I was dying, and it wasn’t until I saw a healer after Starkiller that I found out what it was. It was a long conversation, but now I know.”

 

Kylo smiled just a bit. “I never realized how bad Jakku was.”

 

“It was pretty awful. Now tell me what yours is.”

 

“Wow, um, there’s a lot to choose from, trust me. There was this time at the Jedi Academy that I was training with some fellow Padawans and one of the boys had it out for me because I was a ‘special snowflake.’ Let’s just say one of them tied my shoe strings together when we were doing a blind-folded exercise and I broke my wrist when I fell.”

 

“Oh no, that’s horrible.”

 

“Yes, and madly embarrassing because I should’ve been able to catch myself, but I didn’t.”

 

“They still shouldn’t have done it.”

 

“Whatever. It’s over with now.” He looked at the book. “‘When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?’”

 

“In front of another person was on Starkiller Base after…” She didn’t dare say what triggered it. “By myself was a few days ago.”

 

“Why?”

 

Rey shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve just been feeling alone lately.”

 

“I understand,” he said. “Are you okay now?”

 

“Yeah. I am.”

 

“Good. Um, the last time I cried in front of another person was a few weeks ago. By myself was a few days ago as well.”

 

She nodded. “Are you okay too?”

 

He met her eyes. “I’m better.” Rey nodded, knowing not to pry any more. “‘Tell your partner something that you like about them already.’ I like how real you are,” he said immediately. “It’s really nice that you’re not trying to be someone else for the sake of it.”

 

“I like how you understand me, even if we’re completely different people… And I like how you touch me,” she added at the last second, not completely sure why. Her face flushed.

 

Kylo looked like he was going to reply, but he didn’t. “‘What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?’” His voice was higher pitched than usual.

 

“Love,” Rey said. “Real love.”

 

“Marriage.” Kylo looked back down at the book. “‘If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?’”

 

“That I like them,” she said. “Differently than they think. And I didn’t because I was scared and confused and… I don’t know.”

 

Kylo nodded. “That I was sorry. Because I was too scared to say it before.” He fiddled with the pages on the book, not meeting her eyes. “Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?’”

 

“My lightsaber,” they both answered at once.

 

“‘Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?’” Kylo asked.

 

“I’ll pass on that one.”

 

He nodded. “My mother.”

 

“What number was that?”

 

Kylo looked down at the book. “35. There’s one more question. Are you ready?”

 

Rey nodded. “Do it.”

 

“‘Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.’”

 

“I… I don’t know. I don’t have a lot of problems.”

 

“None at all?”

 

“I mean, I have problems, but I don’t know if you could help me with any of them, honestly.”

 

“Okay, then tell me your most recent one.”

 

“I’ve found someone’s not nearly as big of a prick as I thought they were.”

 

Kylo rose an eyebrow. “Is that so? Such a big problem.”

 

“A huge one.”

 

“My suggestion would be to admit it to them.” There’s a smallest hint of a smile on his face. “I think you might be surprised what they say back.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind. How about you?”

 

“Nothing too drastic. Just that my uncle may not be as big of a loon as I previously thought. What would you say about that?”

 

Rey smiled. “I’d say you’re wrong. He definitely is, but not necessarily in a bad way.”

 

Kylo looked back to the book. “The last thing we have to do is stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes.”

 

She faced him and let out a deep breath. “Ready? Will you count?”

 

He nodded and met her eyes. “Ready.”

 

It was hard not to remove her eyes from his at first. It was what she’d been doing the entire time they were together. As time went on, it got easier to stare at him. She wasn’t sure what the point of this was, but it was nice, in a way, to study him without constraint.

 

Rey had looked at Kylo’s face before, but usually it was out of disgust. This time, though, she was able to appreciate it differently. He wasn’t conventionally attractive like some of the men she’d met lately, but he was attractive in a different way. His scar was the most striking thing about him, mostly faded from that day on Starkiller Base but still recognizable. She didn’t regret it, but she did find herself wishing she could touch it, wishing she could touch  _ him _ .

 

And all at once, she found herself moving her attention from his scar to his lips. She imagined how it would feel to have them close, to have them move against her own lips in some sort of messy rhythm. Her face reddened.

 

From then on, she couldn’t stop the intrusive thoughts. Some were about the feeling of him on top of her, naked and whimpering with every touch. Others were about him in her arms, snoring quietly against her chest. 

 

Each passing second brought more and more and more, and Rey wasn’t sure what was real until Kylo’s fingertips brushed her knee. She touched his hand gingerly with her own and watched as he let out a wavering breath. Rey bit her lip as she laced his fingers through his.

 

Finally, after four agonizing minutes, Kylo said “Done” with a higher pitched voice than usual. Rey ripped her eyes away from his and settled them on their hands before returning back to his eyes. “K-Kylo,” she said, voice wavering.

 

“Rey,” he said back.

 

“You’re shaking.” 

 

He looked down at his hands and back up again. “I know. Are you…”

 

“No.”

 

“What do we do now?” 

 

“Touch me,” she said without hesitation.

 

Kylo immediately obeyed her, setting his right hand on her cheek and his left on the back of her neck. Slowly, he leaned forward until their noses just brushed. “Tell me to stop.” The feeling of his breath against her was enough to drive her mad.

 

“No.”

 

He leaned forward just a bit, letting their lips just brush before moving back. When their eyes met once again, Kylo let out a shaky breath and went right back to Rey’s lips. He moved slowly at first, kept himself at a distance from her, but Rey grabbed at his clothes, pulling him closer and closer. His hands moved from her face and neck and trailed down her shoulders before settling on her thighs.

 

_ This, _ she thought.  _ This is what it’s supposed to be. _

 

It felt like they were there for hours, exploring each other with gasping breaths and shaking hands. After a while, Rey mumbled something along the lines of “Bed. Please.” and they moved toward his mattress (which most definitely was not built for two people). Rey couldn’t help but think of her daydream where he laid between her hips and did sinful things. His fingers traced her waist as his lips moved against hers slowly enough to make her want to beg for more. Every touch was fire, and Rey loved the way she burned.

 

Rey kicked off her shoes and shoved them away while Kylo did the same. He sat up on top of her and removed his belt, followed by his tunic, tossing them somewhere across the room. Rey had seen him in less, but it was more intimate with him so close, with his hands on her, implying so much.

 

There was a blush spread across his chest when Kylo removed his shirt. He didn’t give Rey much time to admire it before returning to her lips, pressing them together gently. As he kissed her, his hands pulled off her vest easily and returned to remove her shirt, hands trailing down to her thighs.

 

Clothes were tossed about the room. The sweet sound of kisses turned into moans as they moved together in a messy combination of fumbling limbs. It felt like hours ago that they were staring into each other’s eyes, and Rey was imagining how it felt to have him like this. Only the real thing was so much better.

 

There was a voice in her mind, reminding her who he was, what he had done. It tried to distract her from the way Kylo touched her, moved with her, made her whimper and cry out his name. She didn’t let it because none of it mattered in those moments they were together.

 

Afterwards, they lay together, blanket draped haphazardly over their bodies. Rey traced her fingers across his back, connecting each of his freckles together. She wanted to speak. She could tell he did too. 

 

“Kylo—”

 

“You didn’t like it.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, something he seemed very sure of.

 

“What? No, no, Kylo, that’s not what I was going to say.”

 

He turned over to face her. “It wasn’t?”

 

She set a hand on his cheek. “Of course not. You… It was good. So good. I was just thinking…”

 

He swallowed. “Thinking?”

 

“Yeah. Um, you know, what we are. I mean… what happened wasn’t exactly normal.”

 

A small smile appeared on his face. “I wonder if my uncle knew this would happen.”

 

“That’s a rather disturbing thought, one I would rather not think about.” She pinched his cheek. “But what about us?”

 

Kylo sighed and ran a hand over his eyes. “Rey, I’ll take anything you’ll give me.”

 

“Anything?” It was strange to think about. If she asked him to marry her, would he do it? Not that she wanted to marry him or anything yet, but it was interesting to think about.

 

He nodded. “Anything. The fact that you’re here right now means… more to me than you can understand.”

 

“Kylo, were you in love with me before this?”

 

He didn’t answer her immediately and wouldn’t meet her eyes, but there was an unmistakable blush on his cheeks and chest. “Um, it’s possible.”

 

Rey rolled her eyes. “God, how long ago?”

 

“You know when I started being an asshole to you?”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Rey tried not to giggle, but the longer she stared at him, the worse it got. Eventually, she burst out laughing, while his blush got worse. “I can’t believe you,” she said when she caught her breath. “You’re unbelievable.”

 

“I know,” he mumbled. “But you still have something to answer for me.”

 

“And that is?”

 

“Are you in love with me?”

 

Rey set her hand on his cheek and swiped her thumb across his bottom lip. He seemed shocked for a moment. “I don’t know. All I know right now is that I want to be here with you, and I don’t want to leave.”

 

Kylo pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “That’s good enough for me.”

 

Rey opened her mouth again but was cut off when the door of the hut swung open and in walked none other than Luke Skywalker. Kylo gasped and sat up, yanking the blanket to cover himself more. “Kylo!” Rey shrieked and moved behind him.

 

Luke gave them a once-over and rolled his eyes. “I am too old for this.”

 

“Get out!” Kylo shouted.

 

“Calm yourself, Solo,” he muttered walking toward the book in the middle of the floor. “Which page did you look up.”

 

“137, like you told us.”

 

Luke sighed. “I meant 127. You two just took a love experiment.”

 

Rey’s eyes widened. “What?”

 

“You answer 36 questions, and at the end it’s said you can fall in love with anyone.”

 

She shook her head. “What, so this is fake?” No, it couldn’t be. How she felt couldn’t be the product of some experiment. 

 

Luke grunted. “No, it’s not fake.” Rey finally let herself breathe. “It doesn’t work for most people, but… it seems it made your relationship fester into something different.”   
  


“Please leave,” Kylo said, hands curled into fists.

 

Luke nodded and left without another word, slamming the door behind him. 

 

A few moments later, Rey glanced at Kylo, who looked like a strange combination of confused and angry. Rey set a hand on his shoulder. “Kylo—”

 

She was cut off when he started laughing. It wasn’t quiet and hidden like the few times she’d seen it. His shoulders shook, and he bent over, struggling to breathe. For a few moments, Rey wanted to ask whether he was okay, but she decided otherwise and just enjoyed the man she had now.

 

Finally, after what seemed like minutes later, he turned toward her and pressed their lips together. “Thank you,” he mumbled against her. 

 

“For what?”

 

“For being here.”

 

Rey smiled and brushed his hair back. “Always. As long as you don’t leave, I won’t.”

 

Kylo pulled Rey back down onto the mattress and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. Their legs intertwined, chests pressed together, they stared into each other’s eyes. It was similar to the way they’d done it earlier, but as they laid together again it was different. Rey could feel Kylo’s heartbeat against her hand as she lay with him. She still wasn’t sure where they stood together, but all that could be resolved later. It didn’t matter then, even if she was afraid of everything that would come next.

 

Because, after all, there is no love with the absence of fear.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! Sorry if it's a mess because I wrote it in a day yikesss


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